"What about him?!"
He's the first to tell you, male humans are simple creatures. He's happy. He's good. Unless you give him reason to be bothered, he won't be.
She finds this amazing, except when she finds it exasperating, or even devastating. He doesn't always understand that such a little thing is so important, whatever little thing it may be.
Doesn't matter. They're only human, and each understands that about the other too well for it to be a real point of contention. In fact, there's not really anything between them that's worth, in this life, walking away from. That's not why they're here. Petty human dramas are part of the tapestry, but really the play's the thing, isn't it.
And the game is afoot.
She finds she loves these turns of phrase. They're used by humans so flippantly, almost as if they're meaningless, but they always mean exactly what they say, and even when they're mangled and inappropriate to the moment - as was his father's way of using them - they should be taken at face value. Imagine how much trouble humans would save themselves by just listening to the words they said, let alone the ones they heard from others, or even read. Ah, but that might just suck the fun out of it, eh?
Why are they here, now?
So much of the fun is not knowing, even though in the moment, as a human, that unknowability of the future can be so grinding. As a human, the ability to seek and discover is paramount. Humans, unlike gods and most animals, are curious and controlling. In the singularity there's nothing to discover. Everything is, and what is is known to all. That's hell for a human. Oh, it's often heaven for a little while, but soon enough, the human mind must wander and when it does, all hell breaks loose, usually in the form of some universe or other, a multiverse or two, random chance, form, function, fiction, science, and everything else, inevitable because that human mind needed something to comprehend, which in infinite eternity means forgetting, becoming finite, limiting oneself, and having something to explore again.
There's a delicate balance in maintaining any reality. Light and darkness, energy and matter, force and power, love and hate, masculine and feminine, knowledge and belief, each must be balanced against its various counterparts, never overpowering and never failing to support or the whole thing collapses and must be started all over again. None or all of these forces and many others may or may not apply, depending upon one's chosen rules. Cheats may or may not be available.
The rules of this universe are pretty straightforward, although being to at least some degree of human origin one can rest assured that a complicating matrix is built in. The more humans learn the more they like to realize they don't know, so they tend to build their universes accordingly. She finds herself most bemused by the choice she's made here of a mind that gets so wrapped up in itself it can't find its way out. He just thinks it's cool that they made all this happen.
Don't let him fool you. And don't mess with his heart.
He made her when the time was right. He knew that because of pain in the form of human heartbreak, but he didn't know what it was he knew. He just knew it was time to go for a walk, and time to show the universe who she was. He walked, sobbing, in the rain, and drew her in his mind, what she looked like, what she'd act like, and how she'd see him.
And there she was.
Of course, life's never that easy, is it.
In the Beginning
She didn't like people very much. She found them confusing, hypocritical, and rude, and didn't like that she couldn't help constantly offending them.
She loved people. She found them miraculous and amazing and thought they were capable of achieving all of the myriad of things they dreamed so passionately and astonishingly, and so much more.
She tried not to care. Not caring was most comfortable, except when it felt inhuman.
It never worked for long. Why live if not to care?
What's the point of stepping out of the singularity if not to experience all of what it means to be whatever she is?
What is she?
She doesn't like herself very much. She finds herself confusing, hypocritical, and rude, and doesn't like that she's often offensive.
She loves herself. She finds herself miraculous, amazing, and capable of achieving the myriad of things of which she dreams passionately.
What are those things?
There's really only one.
She dreams of caring.
So she does, and then she wishes she hadn't so she stops, and then she misses it so she starts again, and round and round she goes, and sometimes says to herself, "Why on Earth? Why do you do this on Earth?"
And her answer is always the same, "Sometimes I don't."
Agh! Confusing, but she gets it. Sometimes she does it... elsewhere. You name it, she's done it there, even if you made that place up.
Done what?
Everything, what else? And not just as a female, or even just as a human. She's been the Earth and everything else, is the Earth and all that even, but right now that's not what she's experiencing. She's experiencing a life where she wants to care but she finds it very painful and difficult when it comes to humans. She finds people irritating and in many ways not worth the hassle they currently present. She wonders if that will change again as it always does.
She thinks about the road that brought her here - the time in which she chose to arrive, the family she chose to be a part of, the events she chose to have happen, and her attitude surrounding it all. She'd chosen a route with much to, humanly, regret, but by which to be divinely inspired. And that was why.
It didn't matter if she was Earth or Jupiter or Alpha Centauri or the Milky Way. Could be some galaxy in the universal backwater with just a smattering of stars and no advanced civilization at all, or some bacteria in a pile of poo. Those are experiences, too, but the human experience, while so very small and limited in so many ways in the grand scheme of things, is always interesting. Those limitations are part of what makes it fun, figuring out how to do things when she can't just do them, and part of the wonder of taking this form that simply never ceases to amaze her, even after an eternity.
She thought about her names. She'd had so many, changed them at will, chosen them on whims. They'd mostly been given to her, but like everything else since the very beginning, they'd always been her choice.
Sometimes she lived and died by those names. Sometimes they were just words that referred to her, or at least were intended to, often only loosely. Funny how when you can choose from everything, so few things really have much meaning. Of course, which things those are is a choice for every lifetime. Sometimes a name is all she has.
Here and now, in this life, she's at a place where she cares for a few, and cares about the many, but the in-between don't much move her. It's probably best that way. When she's moved, when she cares too much about you and you're not designed to handle it, it tends to destroy you. Never her. She just goes on, carrying the weight of your world on her shoulders though you'd never know it, in large part because you'll be too busy picking up the pieces of your life if there are any left after you're done with her.
She's rubber, you're glue, ya know.
She doesn't mean to leave you in pieces. She just can't stop caring. She doesn't expect you to forgive her when it all goes south, because she won't forgive you for taking it there. Bitterness and regret are as much a part of who she is as love, light, joy, and happiness. At times, when compassion gets the better of her, she's happy to take on as much of that crap as she can bear and hope you walk away feeling clean. More often she hopes you feel your fair share and carry it with you, too. Why not? You came here for a human experience just as much as she did; might as well get the works.
She doesn't like you, but she loves you. She's bored with human machination, but fascinated with human innovation. She wonders if one is possible without the other. She'd like to see it. She's seen it before, during, and after, infinite times, but none of those experiences are relevant here and now. She wants to know if you can do it this time 'round, and in all honesty she'd like to see you fail as much as she'd like to see you succeed. It doesn't matter, really, but she'd like to see something. She's been here a while in this lifetime and it's starting to feel sort of like it must feel when she's back there in the singularity, all things, nothing, infinite, eternal, omniscient, and omnipresent. Interestingly, and she finds this amusing, humans often include 'omnipotent' in their description of what that state must be, but really it's anything but.
When she's there, she's as powerless as everything, containing and part of all the power of the universe, unable to make anything of it. The instant something's made, it all collapses into a mess of reality, each thing defined and bounded, limited, but together still containing all that power and now using it to be a thing, all things, nothing, but with form. In that form is the use of power. Each manifest thing resonates with all that energy at the same time, but the bits of it that are made material draw off just enough for existence to happen. Then the spark burns out and that universe ends like it never was.
While she's part of a universe, she's as limited as its laws, but she revels in that - the ability to hit a boundary, to be restrained from doing, to even try to do with the possibility of failure - until she forgets why she's there.
Why not?
It's a beautiful place, interesting and unique, at least as far as she knows in this form in this moment. In another form in another moment she's lived infinite times, Earth is just a rest area on a cosmic freeway, kind of out of the way but with a lovely view and interesting wildlife. In yet another, Earth is older, a gas giant in a wide orbit, and there have been three baby planets born in the solar system, two spinning in calm, settled orbits inside that of Mercury, she being a third that broke into pieces upon separation from his mother, Sun, to form a small asteroid belt between his living siblings.
She's seen it all, but every time she sees it is new, because another feature of finiteness is the ability, and in many forms the need, to forget most of what is known in the singularity. Sure, she could motherlode, but this time around she's not taking the easy route. This time she revels in her frustration. She's energized by her anger. These things translate, for her, to passion. But people wonder about him. How does he stand her, they think once they get to know her.
Well, he made her.
He drew her into his world, and there she was. She recognized him of course, immediately, She thought, "There you are," and he thought back, laughing and grinning as was his way in this lifetime, "Of course. Where else would I be?"
The guy and his wife, so humanly, thought they'd struck couples gold, but these two were so far out... Once they found one another they embarked, as they'd agreed to do prior to creating this universe, upon a grand adventure including the highest highs and the lowest lows. From the outside it looks fairly banal, but the truth is out there and they agreed they'd find it together this time. That journey, the one toward truth, is never as bland as it may seem.
This is their story.
She loved people. She found them miraculous and amazing and thought they were capable of achieving all of the myriad of things they dreamed so passionately and astonishingly, and so much more.
She tried not to care. Not caring was most comfortable, except when it felt inhuman.
It never worked for long. Why live if not to care?
What's the point of stepping out of the singularity if not to experience all of what it means to be whatever she is?
What is she?
She's a person.
She doesn't like herself very much. She finds herself confusing, hypocritical, and rude, and doesn't like that she's often offensive.
She loves herself. She finds herself miraculous, amazing, and capable of achieving the myriad of things of which she dreams passionately.
What are those things?
There's really only one.
She dreams of caring.
So she does, and then she wishes she hadn't so she stops, and then she misses it so she starts again, and round and round she goes, and sometimes says to herself, "Why on Earth? Why do you do this on Earth?"
And her answer is always the same, "Sometimes I don't."
Agh! Confusing, but she gets it. Sometimes she does it... elsewhere. You name it, she's done it there, even if you made that place up.
Done what?
Everything, what else? And not just as a female, or even just as a human. She's been the Earth and everything else, is the Earth and all that even, but right now that's not what she's experiencing. She's experiencing a life where she wants to care but she finds it very painful and difficult when it comes to humans. She finds people irritating and in many ways not worth the hassle they currently present. She wonders if that will change again as it always does.
She thinks about the road that brought her here - the time in which she chose to arrive, the family she chose to be a part of, the events she chose to have happen, and her attitude surrounding it all. She'd chosen a route with much to, humanly, regret, but by which to be divinely inspired. And that was why.
It didn't matter if she was Earth or Jupiter or Alpha Centauri or the Milky Way. Could be some galaxy in the universal backwater with just a smattering of stars and no advanced civilization at all, or some bacteria in a pile of poo. Those are experiences, too, but the human experience, while so very small and limited in so many ways in the grand scheme of things, is always interesting. Those limitations are part of what makes it fun, figuring out how to do things when she can't just do them, and part of the wonder of taking this form that simply never ceases to amaze her, even after an eternity.
She thought about her names. She'd had so many, changed them at will, chosen them on whims. They'd mostly been given to her, but like everything else since the very beginning, they'd always been her choice.
Sometimes she lived and died by those names. Sometimes they were just words that referred to her, or at least were intended to, often only loosely. Funny how when you can choose from everything, so few things really have much meaning. Of course, which things those are is a choice for every lifetime. Sometimes a name is all she has.
Here and now, in this life, she's at a place where she cares for a few, and cares about the many, but the in-between don't much move her. It's probably best that way. When she's moved, when she cares too much about you and you're not designed to handle it, it tends to destroy you. Never her. She just goes on, carrying the weight of your world on her shoulders though you'd never know it, in large part because you'll be too busy picking up the pieces of your life if there are any left after you're done with her.
She's rubber, you're glue, ya know.
She doesn't mean to leave you in pieces. She just can't stop caring. She doesn't expect you to forgive her when it all goes south, because she won't forgive you for taking it there. Bitterness and regret are as much a part of who she is as love, light, joy, and happiness. At times, when compassion gets the better of her, she's happy to take on as much of that crap as she can bear and hope you walk away feeling clean. More often she hopes you feel your fair share and carry it with you, too. Why not? You came here for a human experience just as much as she did; might as well get the works.
She doesn't like you, but she loves you. She's bored with human machination, but fascinated with human innovation. She wonders if one is possible without the other. She'd like to see it. She's seen it before, during, and after, infinite times, but none of those experiences are relevant here and now. She wants to know if you can do it this time 'round, and in all honesty she'd like to see you fail as much as she'd like to see you succeed. It doesn't matter, really, but she'd like to see something. She's been here a while in this lifetime and it's starting to feel sort of like it must feel when she's back there in the singularity, all things, nothing, infinite, eternal, omniscient, and omnipresent. Interestingly, and she finds this amusing, humans often include 'omnipotent' in their description of what that state must be, but really it's anything but.
When she's there, she's as powerless as everything, containing and part of all the power of the universe, unable to make anything of it. The instant something's made, it all collapses into a mess of reality, each thing defined and bounded, limited, but together still containing all that power and now using it to be a thing, all things, nothing, but with form. In that form is the use of power. Each manifest thing resonates with all that energy at the same time, but the bits of it that are made material draw off just enough for existence to happen. Then the spark burns out and that universe ends like it never was.
While she's part of a universe, she's as limited as its laws, but she revels in that - the ability to hit a boundary, to be restrained from doing, to even try to do with the possibility of failure - until she forgets why she's there.
"Why on Earth?"
Why not?
It's a beautiful place, interesting and unique, at least as far as she knows in this form in this moment. In another form in another moment she's lived infinite times, Earth is just a rest area on a cosmic freeway, kind of out of the way but with a lovely view and interesting wildlife. In yet another, Earth is older, a gas giant in a wide orbit, and there have been three baby planets born in the solar system, two spinning in calm, settled orbits inside that of Mercury, she being a third that broke into pieces upon separation from his mother, Sun, to form a small asteroid belt between his living siblings.
She's seen it all, but every time she sees it is new, because another feature of finiteness is the ability, and in many forms the need, to forget most of what is known in the singularity. Sure, she could motherlode, but this time around she's not taking the easy route. This time she revels in her frustration. She's energized by her anger. These things translate, for her, to passion. But people wonder about him. How does he stand her, they think once they get to know her.
Well, he made her.
He drew her into his world, and there she was. She recognized him of course, immediately, She thought, "There you are," and he thought back, laughing and grinning as was his way in this lifetime, "Of course. Where else would I be?"
The guy and his wife, so humanly, thought they'd struck couples gold, but these two were so far out... Once they found one another they embarked, as they'd agreed to do prior to creating this universe, upon a grand adventure including the highest highs and the lowest lows. From the outside it looks fairly banal, but the truth is out there and they agreed they'd find it together this time. That journey, the one toward truth, is never as bland as it may seem.
This is their story.
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